Americatown

"I can't stand to fly.
I'm not that nieve.
Men weren't meant to ride
With clouds between their knees.
I'm only a man in a funny red sheet...
Only a man lookin' for a dream... "

Five for Fighting was right. Sometimes I get in this mode...or call it a mood. Layne does ...she's right.

When I was in college I would get in this super focused, but super withdrawn mode. I would put on a hat, put on my glasses, incase myslfl in my room, with all the lights out but the lamp on my desk, and strap my best set of headphones on. With an emotionally charged collection of tracks on the CD player, I could study harder than ever, or reflect deeper that usual on life things.

I am in that mood. It hits me hard and quick, and then after a time goes away. It is my
ME TIME. When I need it, nothing else will do. Layne is so comforting, but when this mood strikes I have to seclude myself. No amount of consoling or understanding does it. I am even skipping my mens group. No one can be here but me right now...and God.

I am convinced that these little moments are when He wants to be alone with me - even if there is music in the background. (God LOVES music - He made it after all, and can probably dance better than ANYONE else EVER.) He knows that in this special place only He and I understand what it means.

"But first I'll take a nap tonight, knowing someone is

looking over me...there's got to be a hero somewhere."

He is my Hero - He is looking over me. In these special hideen moments that few know about, I reconnect and recharge with Him. It is like after a certain amount of time, my batteries are drained. The only way to fill them back up is to reflect and know that HE has got it, that He is too big for me to grasp, and that He rocks!!!

This is a big week...bigger than some of you may know. I am interviewing on Tuesday morning at 730am with a drug company. My last round of interviews went well - I was the hiring manager's top candidate, but they went with an internal candidate. Well - there was another immediate opening, and he submitted my name for that one. So Tuesday I meet with the other hiring manager for breakfast/interview!!!! Seems so laid back, so I feel confident...but God is saying "Don't get cocky, dude." Immediately following that interview I do another one - this one for an Asst Mgr position with my current company. I have to keep climbing in my current position, assuming it is the only one I have...

I pray that God finds you all well. When He asks you to meet Him in your special place, go there! It is joyous! Never turn down the Maker when He wants a solo time with you - if it is for 15 minutes or 4 hours. You never know when He will be back for another one.

Held in the arms of Love,

joshua holland