Coffee in the Crack

'Why do bad things happen to good people?' - Anne Frank.

I am not sure if she said that, but I could see it happening for sure. There are lots of great lines in the play based on her diary. If you haven't seen it, rent it. oldie but goodie (except the whole black mark on humanity and stuff.)...

So I am driving across Michigan the other day, taking I-94 from Kalamazoo to St Joe. I have a fresh cup of coffee from BK in my hand, with the sip-top opened. (If you cannot see where this is going, you are B-L-I-N-D.) I thought to myself, "don't let this spill." It didn't help.

I am driving to St Joe for a lunch meeting with 3 customers. I decide to take the lid off the cup, as the beverage on the inside is entirely too hot (as the lid and side of the cup had indicated). As I am driving with one had, holding with the other, I pour the CAUTION: CONTENTS HOT contents in my lap.

So much so, that the torrent of fluid broke the protective dyke of my legs, and ran right down my backside into the abyss. Oh my oh my. So now I am sitting in a puddle of hot coffee, which has managed to soak the front and back of my suit pants. Great.

With only 15 miles left to St Joe, i decide the best thing to so is the 'stand-up-drive:' you know, where you elevate your rump so that you are straight, not sitting, and try to avoid uncontrolled acceleration as you do so. (This must be the funniest thing to watch driving down the highway.)

I put the coffee in the cup holder (where it should have started out) and, with utter abandon, began to fan my cheeks - as if the gentle breeze I made had Vornado-ish properties, and would dry these wool pants off within minutes.

Needless to say, I camped in the car int he parking lot until the last minute, put on my coat (buttoned all the way up) and never bent over the rest of the lunch.

As I always say, 'better me than someone else'. I guess.

Cheers,
-fuller