Why do we ask 'how are you?'

We go to a church with a lot of attendees.

CNN would call it a Megachurch, but I hate that phrase, because it sounds more like a business that way. Like that guy wo preaches in Houston about 'God wanting you to be rich.' At least that is the way Barbara Walters presents it. He wrote a book too - Your Best Life Now - Joel Osteen, I think is his name.

Mars Hill is not like that - it is a community. West Michigan families who embrace forward thinking, being spiritually challenged and rising up to support those in need.

Anyway (after that diatribe on churches)...we heard a great challenge today. The topic: not going at it alone, being in one another's painful (and joyful) places - basically that God made us to carry one another, just as Christ did.

The speaker, a Mars Hill member, used the story of Christ healing a possessed child, told in Mark. In Mark 9:14, the boy's father asks Christ to 'have pity,' which inthe Greek means feeling true empathy and pain in your insides/soul for someone. In Exodus, God bids Moses to adorn a temple for Him, so that He may be 'among' His people. The jist if the message was that God is among the suffering, as we should be.

Furthermore, when we approach a person with a greeting of 'how are you?' how often do we really mean exactly that? Research shows that people tend to ask only 2 questions when invited into a conversation about another persons struggles, so that we do not become actually involved. Interesting...we have moved from 'hello' to 'how are you,' with exactly the same meaning, despite there being such an innate difference in those two sentiments.

We were challenged to actauly mean it when we ask - and moreover, not ask that question as a greetng if we do not really desire or have the time to become involved.

Involved in...what? So often, the speaker points out, when a friend approaches us with something they are going through, or frustrated with, or fighting with, we tend to (1) evaluate their problem, then (2) tell them how to fix it, or give alternatives.

What we SHOULD be doing is LISTENING - we have all been there: when we were teens, had angst about something (because teenage and angst are often used together...) and needed to vent with dad or mom. Much of the time, just sharing our issues made them clearer, or better yet - made us feel better. We just have to get that out sometimes!

As a newly married couple, Layne & I often ehar one anothers issues about work, etc., and propose solutions....eeernnnnnt . Wrong! We need to listen.

It seems so simple, but I am guessing the entire congregation felt like we did - ' yeah, that's me - i need to listen better and invest in people more.'

Take it t heart - it made great conversation over lunch for Layne & I. I hope for you too..

How are you? I mean it...

-josh