Holy crap it has been a long time

I haven't written in here since November...who am I, TJ McCloud?? (hahaha - just kidding TJ)

Here is a rundown of the latest news:

1)Still getting married. Invitations are out. Pastor is new, church is new, but the date is still March 18th. If you didn't get an invite, it is because (a) we ran out, or (b) we don't like you. No offense, either way.

2)I am now living in Hudsonville in the home that Layne & I purchased! It is an awesome 3 bed, 2 1/2 bath home in aquiet neighborhood 30 minutes west of GR. I like it here a lot...and even better when I have a housemate March 19th :)

3) I found myself online! And I am doing amazing things now! Check out these links for more info!

-me getting a check for a surfing contest
- me as an Aussie catchin' a crazy wave
- my new high school profile- (notice I am a cool, calm & collective rapping FFA student)
-an article highlighting my recent decision to take up coaching soccer in Casper, WY

It's a small world after all. And to think, all these people with my name are so like me. Are we alone in the universe...I think not.


do do do do do do do do
-------the real josh fuller

Neeew York City?

It has been entirely too long since I have blogged. But I have an excuse: I have been too busy.
You see, I have been in New Jersey for the last 2 weeks at Phase 2 training for my new job. I go home on Friday (YEAHHHH!) but still...a long last week lies ahead.

It has been like a minimester in college - cram as much as possible in to 3 weeks of training, take a final exam on it, and interview that you have the understanding to apply what you have learned in the field. I have thoroughly enjoyed the learning, but I miss my fiance terribly.

So here are some pictures of this weekend. My new work friends and I went to NYC. I have NEVER been until this weekend. It was truely a sensory overload - like you are inside a video game or something.

We hit all the big sites in just 1 day. We got into the city at 10am, and left at 7pm. One of the guys in our group, Todd, had been thee many times before, and so was our tour guide for the day.

We hit Battery Park, and from there got a view of the Statue of Liberty. It was nothing short of emotional. Thinking of all the people, who, when they saw Lady Liberty, had so much promise of a life of opportunity.


We took taxis most of the day, although we certainly did get our walking in while in town. That was almost the coolest part. Thinking, "I am spending a beautiful Saturday afternoon walking through NYC. While on of the guys said, "It doesn't get any better than this, I disagreed. I would rather be doing this all with Layne. :)

Our second stop was ground-zero -the WTC site. It was also an emotional place. The sound of the city seemed to slip away - it was so very silent there. All you could hear was the sound of the wind through the buildings. If people were talking around me, I couldn't hear them. And I almost felt gulity of taking pictures there - like it is some kind of oddity. Nevertheless, it was an amazing experience.






Times Square was were all the action was. We snuck in the back door of the Hard Rock Cafe so we didn't have to wait in line. (shame shame shame, fuller). We hung out with some NYPD cops and chatted for a while, saw the christmas tree at Rockafeller Center along with the skating rink, and were just amazed at the number of people there.



All in all, it was a good, but very tiring day. We didn't get pick pocketed, didn't get lost, and had a good time.

Junk Mail & Haters

It is so funny that people get viruses. Now, I know sometime people get email in their boxes that 'sound' like a real email, or that maybe it is very important because it sayd so in the title. But I have chosen the recipient of my
"Keep On Trying Bud, You Suck at Sending Out Junk Emails" Award...this guy...

SUBJ: Fw[1]:HI Meeiyzdgobiot
FROM: cnrzzqjfcexeba@ server.com

NOW REALLY! Why in the world would I ever open this? You may be thinking ' well that was generated byt a computer program.' Ok then, I have another award:
"Keep On Trying Bud, You Suck at Designing Programs That Send Out Junk Emails" Award.

My friend Randy has been struggling with some family issues. His siblings and paarents dont like that he goes to Mars Hill or that he is dating a Catholic girl. If you have kept up, you know how hard they have been on him for it. Well, he is now engaged to this sweet young Catholic girl and they are getting married next July.

On Sunday, Randy's siblings disowned him. Yes - they told him they wanted to cut all ties'. They said they would not be at his wedding, would not stand up for him, and that he wasn't welcome. He was crushed I am sure. Although he didn't show it to us. He had been very angry and upset all day and was worn out by bible study time.

I don't understand. How can people, FAMILY, choose to say that, because you worship at another building, you are not worthy of their presence or that by being around you they may be poisened.

We worship the same God! We love Him just as much! We don't worship idols, or snakes, or wear Nikes in anticipation of the coming of the aliens! We are CHRISTIANS, or at least trying to be. We worship the same FATHER, and yet cannot call each other brother or sister? What kind of living is that?

This song, byt Brad Paisley, reminds me how wonderful heaven will be, when we are all on the other side and have all these silly questions and decisions taken away - the blinders removed - and all we see is Love from the Father.

When I get where I'm going
On the far side of the sky
The first thing that I'm gonna do
Is spread my wings and fly

I'm gonna land beside a lion
And run my fingers through his mane
Or I might find out what it's like
To ride a drop of rain

Yeah when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
I will shed the sins and struggles
I have carried all these years
And I'll leave my heart wide open
I will love and have no fear
Yeah when I get where I'm going
Don't cry for me down here

So much pain and so much darkness
In this world we stumble through
All these questions I can't answer
So much work to do

But when I get where I'm going
And I see my maker's face
I'll stand forever in the light
Of his amazing grace
Yeah when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
Hallelujah
I will love and have no fear
When I get where I'm going
Yeah when I get where I'm going

Corrective Maintenance

Yes - the anonymous blogging commentor strikes agin, leting me know that I dated my fish's birth and death dates as 2006. WHOOPS!

It IS still 2005. Sorry about the cunfusion. But since only 3 people read this, 1 of whom I don't know the identity, (NOTE: mayhaps we should refer to them as C. Smith) I am not too worried.

Thanks, Nony Mous.

Why It Sucks To Be A Spider

It's like a wordless picture poem...

"Nemo" Strikes Close to Home

Following a vast array of pet stories recently on my linked blogs below, I have the opportunity to share one too.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I spilled Coke on y keyboard and some of the keys don't work all the time, naely the "m" key...see what I ean? Please excuse y ess here. Sorry.**

WARNING: What your about to read is graphic. There is nothing happy about it. It is sad. If you don't think it is sad you are heartless, or don't understand the bond that can be made between a man and his pet fish. (TJ, most fish may only be able to remember things for 3 seconds - but my first are trained and brilliant. In fact, one of them pooped E=MC2 on the side of the tank. Brilliant, I say.)

Circa 2004 there was a movie released: "Finding Nemo." It seems little Nemo the fish (which is "omen" backwards ... I should have seen all this trauma coming) undergoes some really fun adventures in the wide open sea. Well, while he is captured in the dentists fish tank, he gets sucked into the water recycler thingy. I hope you see where this is going.


When I feed my fish (which is about 2-3 times a day) I go up to the aquarium, and tap on the glass. They all come running (well, swimming) to the front and frenzy in order to try and get to my fingers. They know them. They are friendly fingers. Last night at 1130 I was going to give them a last snack (since I hadn't fed them all day) and I only saw 3 come to the front. - but I have 4. I bent down quickly, surveying the tank for Crazy Eddie and where he might be. That is when I saw it.

Eddie, known in fishdom for swimming upside down, running into thr side of the tank, inspecting the pumps, etc., was against the sucker part of the water recycler - he was tuck. Upon closer evaluation, his tail had been sucked into the pipe, and was lodged between the slits in the end of it. He was breathing, but it was labored. I rushed in, hand first, and gently pulled him free. The current in the auqarium sne him spinning and in circles, and he seemed to lack the bouyancy or will to fight it.

I put him in aholding tank (a glass baking dish) overnight, with some food - hoping he would eat and find the strength to learn to swim again. What follows, is his fate.

RIP
Edward "Crazy Eddie" Fish
February 14th, 2006 - October 5, 2006

Eddie is survived by Laverne, Shirley, and Pete.
Eddie went to the big ocean in the sky late Wednesday
to meet Jaques and Homer, his late snail friends.
Eddie was a good fish, always jubilant and roudy.
He was a little slow, but he is a fish - his brain in naturally small.
We will miss his "swiming against the current" attitude,
when he would fight the skull that bubbled,
and his overall zest for life.

For You I'd Wait

Coldplay has a funny way of saying things. Perhaps this song is about Christ. Or perhaps it is about you. But either way, it is about

Love
Trust
Anticipation

Steal my heart and hold my tongue
I feel my time, my time has come
Let me in, unlock the door
I never felt this way before

And the wheels just keep on turning
The drummer begins to drum
I don’t know which way i’m going
I don’t know which way i’ve come

Hold my head inside your hands
I need someone who understands
I need someone, someone who hears
For you i’ve waited all these years
For you i’d wait til kingdom come
Until my day, my day is done
And say you’ll come and set me free
Just say you’ll wait, you’ll wait for me

I Love you, babe...I can't wait until March....
-me

Ten Treatisies Against Denominations

We are looking around for churches to get married in. We found this great chapel at a church in Midland, where Layne's folks live. Herein lies the rub...

It is a specific denominational church. We went inside to look at the sancutary and loved it...very colonial and different. Looked just like that church from The Patriot. Anywho, the paster was there. He informed us that in order to get marrie dat that church we had to take classes and give membership to that church. When we said we were members elsewhere, he said, "oh! no, you have to have membership here."

Now - I understand that they hold their church very sacred. It is a holy pl;ace for rituals and rites that lift glory to God, and also probably condemn people for not following every law. RTegardless of that fact, I am a member of CHRIST'S CHURCH!!!! HIS church that HE made for eternity! We are a BODY of people...my friend TJ once said, "If we all call Him father, we do we not act like brothers?"

I just get to irritated that we all get caught up in the littel things of religion...that's what makes it so confusing and untrustworthy to those outside of the church. Denominations are almost at war with one another. My first time at a Nazarene church, they welcomed me with ope n arms when I told them I had come from a Baptist church. "We don't like them, anyway," one woman said.
Shady McShades, I tell ya...

Two Weeks Notice

I have acepted an offer to work as a primary care sales rep for Sanofi-Aventis Pharmaceuticals in Grand Rapids! Layne & I are both so excited, as this will be perfect timing with a wedding coming up and also because this is what I have wanted to be doing for SO LONG! It is a great job, with AMAZING benefits, includes a more promising salary and is just the icing on the cake.

The tough part will be putting in my 2 weeks notice with Enterprise. You see, last Wednesday they promoted me to Asst Manager at a branch in town. Well, I did that in case this Sanofi thing didn't work out. Well, it has....fortunatley, but my Enterprise folks will be PISSED! Oh well, most of them couldn't care less about me anyway, in all honesty. Given thi sopportunity, anyone in my shoes would be crazy not to take it.

So we are planning the wedding....if you want to keep up on this, check out our wedding blog @

http://joshandlayne.blogspot.com

God is soooooooooo good!
josh

Goin' to the Chapel

Before we get to the title story i want to say this: I grieve for the masses in LA and MS. I ache for them. I can't ever fathom what it would be like to be moved to NY or MI, when all your life you have lived in New Orleans. I don't know how much pain I could take if I knew my babies had drown, but couldnt be recovered until the floods that took them dried up.

I hate this storm! And what it meant for the thousands affected! They didn't ask for it! But what I wrote the other day was just thoughts...probably because i was reading a spiritual warfare novel by Frank Peretti (http://www.perettionline.com/). Nevertheless, God will make wonders out of what happened...


Next....



I AM GETTING MARRIED! That's right, if you haven't heard from me yet, I got engaged this weekend to my lovely fiance, Layne Shoaf. She is the most wonderful perons I know, and brings me such joy! I am so thrilled and excited to begin our life together....

I love you, babe...me

Sodom & Orleans

The events in the southern gulf states are catastrophic. I see the pictures on CNN.com and watch the news, and become sick to think people are so desperate. The entire city of New Orleans is a giant toilet: the city is shaped like a bowl, and sewage is leaking and contaminating everything. Americas rush to aid their fellow citizens, much like what happened in the Tsunami disaster. I have some thoughts on this:

(1) There is a lot of press regarding Hurrican Katrina. But somehow, it seems, at least to this midwesterner, that America is not as ready to give themselves to this cause.

Yes, we are donating money and supplies, but are people flooding down there as well? In the wake of the winter tsunamis, you saw tons of young people on the news from all over the US who saw it as a political and humanitarian duty to go there and rebuild. I hope that now, as they did for those folks far away, they will do here for our fellow countrymen.

You may think, "well, YOU go then, Josh." Nope - I didn't before, I won't now. No offense, but everyone has their role. While you go, I'll pray....that helpes just as much.

(2) I have been to Mardi Gras. Two fo my best friends and I went down there our 5th year of college. It was a crazy good time...but my friend Javier said multiple times, "this is like Sodom & Gamorrah." It was. There was nothing int he big easy but sex, alcohol and drugs. Everything revolved around it, it was as much a part of the lives of that area as the morning commute.

So was this natural disaster God's may of cleaning up the city? I am not saying that anyone down there deserved to have this happen to them. There were so many honest folks in LA who had been there for years, raising generations of families. Much like a victim of an AIDS infected transfusion, they did nothing to earn this horror. But, perhaps, looking at it from a biblical and historical perspective, God decided that the rampant sin in that city needed to be flushed. I am not sure I even belive this, but it popped into my mind...

And then think of this... How sick is it that people are shooting at helicopters, fighting with the cops and stealing at a time like this! That city is crazy!!!! Even with a wake up call like this (regarding how fragile we are in such a vast world) men are still pilaging, raping and shooting each other. And the fact that the news agencies are giving tele-time to people who are outraged at the government for not helping quickly enough...I know that are upset/frantic/angry...but the media needs to realize that we are MOVING AS FAST AS POSSIBLE! When relief efforts turn into riots, who WANTS to go help??? Why go in fast, when you might get shot trying to lend a hand??

It is a devastating disaster...and I refer not to the Hurricane, but to the aftermath caused my selfish people. One man on the radio said, "these are not looters - these are people trying to survive." Yes, true...but it is still sad.

And another thing, why are the media agencies covering all THAT?? Why not cover the triumphs, the volunteers, the families reunited, the groups standing strong and giving thanks for being alive...???

Heartsick, and disgusted by the madness,
josh

Americatown

"I can't stand to fly.
I'm not that nieve.
Men weren't meant to ride
With clouds between their knees.
I'm only a man in a funny red sheet...
Only a man lookin' for a dream... "

Five for Fighting was right. Sometimes I get in this mode...or call it a mood. Layne does ...she's right.

When I was in college I would get in this super focused, but super withdrawn mode. I would put on a hat, put on my glasses, incase myslfl in my room, with all the lights out but the lamp on my desk, and strap my best set of headphones on. With an emotionally charged collection of tracks on the CD player, I could study harder than ever, or reflect deeper that usual on life things.

I am in that mood. It hits me hard and quick, and then after a time goes away. It is my
ME TIME. When I need it, nothing else will do. Layne is so comforting, but when this mood strikes I have to seclude myself. No amount of consoling or understanding does it. I am even skipping my mens group. No one can be here but me right now...and God.

I am convinced that these little moments are when He wants to be alone with me - even if there is music in the background. (God LOVES music - He made it after all, and can probably dance better than ANYONE else EVER.) He knows that in this special place only He and I understand what it means.

"But first I'll take a nap tonight, knowing someone is

looking over me...there's got to be a hero somewhere."

He is my Hero - He is looking over me. In these special hideen moments that few know about, I reconnect and recharge with Him. It is like after a certain amount of time, my batteries are drained. The only way to fill them back up is to reflect and know that HE has got it, that He is too big for me to grasp, and that He rocks!!!

This is a big week...bigger than some of you may know. I am interviewing on Tuesday morning at 730am with a drug company. My last round of interviews went well - I was the hiring manager's top candidate, but they went with an internal candidate. Well - there was another immediate opening, and he submitted my name for that one. So Tuesday I meet with the other hiring manager for breakfast/interview!!!! Seems so laid back, so I feel confident...but God is saying "Don't get cocky, dude." Immediately following that interview I do another one - this one for an Asst Mgr position with my current company. I have to keep climbing in my current position, assuming it is the only one I have...

I pray that God finds you all well. When He asks you to meet Him in your special place, go there! It is joyous! Never turn down the Maker when He wants a solo time with you - if it is for 15 minutes or 4 hours. You never know when He will be back for another one.

Held in the arms of Love,

joshua holland

My Cell Phone Makes Me Swear

It's true...I try to have a clean mouth, and tend to always be the one who does. I watch my mouth around everyone...but when I am in the car alone, and my Cingular cell phone cuts off my service right in the middle of town, cussage streams out of my mouht like stool from the sewer.

You see, my cell is like a cat. Here, let's get organized and make a list ( I originally typed listy by mistake, and it gave me a chuckle... "Let's make a listy .." hahaha)

TOP TEN WAYS MY CELL PHONE IS LIKE A CAT

(10) A cat doesn't come when you call it - it comes when it wants to. My cell doesn't call when
you ask it to - it calls when it wants.
(9) Cats don't really have nine lives - my cell phone doesn't really work.
(8) Cats get bored and quit paying attention - my phone gets bored and quits sending a signal.
(7) Cats eyes will roam around when they play with a strings toy - there is no roaming on my
cell phone.
(6) Cats have a strong sense of smell using their whiskers - my cell phone sucks.
(5) When you drop a cat , it lands on it feet - when I drop my cell phone it lands on its
antennae.
(4) There are no other similarities.
(3) I don't have a cat.


k...I'm done with that...my brain hurts...


Tonight Layne & I went over to Dave's house. He is in my Bible study - heck of a guy. All of Bible studiers/poker players brought out significant others over for Dave's homsemade pizza and some badmitten. It was awesome....Young people having a good time and eating pizza. It couldn't get more all American....

The Answer is in the Question

When I was pledging with my fraternity, this was a saying that was used during initiation week ("I" week, as we called it.) It was one of those very "Skulls" moments, when all the chapter is gathered around a roaring fire, and the members behind us were whispering "The answer is in the question." What is means, no one ever knew - and that is because it meant nothing, but was only there to make it feel "cool." It worked. And yes, I wet myself.

This phrase sums up the last week. I am in a Bible study at Mars Hill Bible Church - the church Layne & I go to in Grand Rapids. You may have heard of Rob Bell, our pastor - he does the Nooma video series and just came out with a book, entitled "Velvet Elvis." Very cool, young, hip guy who is a sweet leader for us...anywho, in our men's group, we play poker, go golfing, and also find time to fit in pseudotheological discussion, during which we use our colloquial phrases to try and put God in a box.

But that is just it - we don't do that. As part of a new radical movement of young Christians, our generation has the ability to say, "I will never figure it out - and God has it all! He is in control, and is bigger than anyone could ever fathom!" He is. That is not being self righteous, but being real. We young Christians are very laid back and find Jesus as a friend, instead of a principal.

My friend Randy is dealing with something realted to this, with his family. The church he grew up in is very conservative and traditional in its ways. There are rules, and thinking outside of those rules could get you into trouble. Well, Randy is aweome - he decided to go to Mars Hill instead of this old church, and his family almost made him the black sheep. Then, on top of that, he is dating a wonderful young lady - who is Catholic. My Lord, how the walls came down! So Randy's family pays a visit to him last week, to discuss his salvation and lead him back to "the path" - of boredom, rule making and breaking, and the ancient tradition of jumping off the bridge because someone else did!

We have rallied behind him, urging him to invite his family to our church, or to a barbecue we have. But they won't have it - it is too strange, too different, to easy to be a christian at Mars Hill, and they wouldn't dare...

So this message is for everyone: accept the grace Christ gives you.

Understand...

He loves us ... even when we screw up (which we do)
He will restore our faith ... even when it fails (and it will)
He is bigger than science or reasoning ... even if we come up with a thoerom to prove other wise (and someone will)
He died for EVRY ONE OF US ... even if we have forgotten that (which we have)

God bless us...and He does,
josh

Pink Ffloyd Rules

"Hello, ...is there anybody in there? ?"

Remember thos words to the PF song? If not, well...that's what they are. And I ask myself continually, despite my faith in the Lord, that very question.

Yesterday I got promoted at Enterprise, and it looks like another one could come around in the next month or so...but the thing of it is, I don't want to make a career there. And tomorrow is a very special day...tomorrow I interview with a pharm-company in GR! I do so much want this job with them, but I have to continue to tell myself that God has it...and the moment I try to take control of tomorrow, He may just snatch it right out from under me. Not to be mean to me, of course, but because I do something to mess it up.

I give it to him...right now. And even for you skeptics who don't know if God really exists, I ask for your thoughts tomorrow. I want the job - but more want God to lead me to all the exciting things He has planned.

Please say a prayer. Thank you in advance.

Lord, help my unbelief....
your son

As the summer winds to a very warm close, Layne & I are still going to weddings. This one was wonderful! Outside, at a historic mill, complete with water wheel, Belgian draft horses and a little bridge over the water.

Layne was throwing things at the wedding, so we had to put her in the stocks for all to see and mock. Long live the Queen!

Whole Pork Loin

The newspaper for Ed's foodmart sits on my desk. It reads : "Whole Pork Loin, $1.79/lb. Sliced FREE!" When was the last time a deli counter actually charged for slicing? Does "Ed" really think that some yankee from the stix up here will see that and say, "hot damn, honey! Ed is slicing meat for free! Let's git the kids and go to town. Hell, maybe Ed'll throw in some plastic bags for the pork loin for free, too..."

Perhaps. Ed's a nice guy.

I got paid to golf yesterday. I got the morning off, then reported to the office at noon for a 1245 tee time. The company gave us E-balls, E-towels, bought our lunch, paid for 18-and-a-cart...the whole shebang... ["She bang she bang...She move she move." (You know that song?)] I got a redneck tan, and the white collar shirt is rubbin' today, but yesterday was the best day of work EVER...mostly cause I didn't do any!

No work this weekend. Just relaxin', goin' to Chi-town on Sunday...and bein' very lazy :) Come see me...

I heart pork,
josh

But What Does It All Really Mean?...

Things get old. Bananas. Celery. People. When something is new we get all excited about it, but when it loses that fresh luster, we bring the hammer down and talk about how boring it has become... School, that hot girl in Chemistry, your new purple Scoot-n-skate, NCAA Football 2006 on PS2,... the job we do.

You see, I have succumed to the age old problem of letting work follow you home. Like a lurking shadow, the problems and stress of the office tend to over-burden us and hang on our coat-tails, sneak int he passenger seat, and sit down at the dinner table with us. Then one day we wake up and say "why am I doing this?"

A few weeks ago it really got me down. I was a car-renter. I rented cars. Renting cars was what I did..and who I had become. The problem with that reality is that it is not one...it is simply an melodramatic statement that allows us to maneuever our way out of caring about the job we get paid to do.

I want to travel. That requires money. Money requires that I work for it. Working requires that I spend time away fromthe house. Spending that much time requires that I make the best of it and care about what I do enough to keep a smile. God is watching me...

I am NOT my job. It is what I spend hours doing, but not who I am.

I am a son.
I am a boyfriend.
I am a brother.
I am a best friend.
I am a Virgo.
I am a cowboy.
I am a God lover.
I am a sinner.
I am a fun-haver.
I am a volunteer.
I am a carer.
I am a helper.
I am a lover of people.

but I am not a car renter....it is just what I do. I would rather do something else, but I will awlays be just me...who God made me...warts and all.

Humbled,
josh